We all know someone whose words and actions don’t match and whose opinions you can’t trust. But we also know people who we think are the kindest, calmest, and most honest souls.

What affects our judgment of these individuals?

We’re wired to look at behaviors in contrast with core values and beliefs. If we think a person’s values are disrespectful and dishonest, we deem them untrustworthy. Here’s how it works:

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Our values define us

What are your core values? I prioritize kindness, integrity, reflection, curiosity, helping others, independence, hard work, respect and a calm attitude. Your core values are where the strength of your character flows from. They give you a sense of identity and guide the choices you make. If someone’s values clash with yours, let’s just say you won’t be the best of friends.

Oftentimes, it’s best to avoid people whose values don’t align with yours. If you think an individual isn’t trustworthy, it’s best to keep minimal contact.

Everyone has their own values

While it’s crucial to have an understanding of your core values, you must also acknowledge that other people have their own set of values they deem worthy. If someone screaming makes you uncomfortable, you can choose to walk away from the situation without engaging further.

And if you were closely involved in the situation, let them know that you value respect and shouting isn’t respectful. This will give you more power over your response to the situation.

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Work on yourself for a better future

If you want to learn more about values and how you can use them to connect better with people in personal and professional settings, let me help. I’m Kathy McKnight, and I work as a personal and professional development coach. Call me at 1-813-690-5105 for more information.

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