How do you believe in yourself when you focus more on your failures instead of victories?

We are all chasing after perfection, which is positive in a sense but also a negative if we have too high expectations of ourselves. You start thinking that if you are not the best, you are not good enough, you are not worthy to deserve happiness.

It is rather silly, isn’t it? To beat yourself down when you could believe in yourself and have the self-esteem to tackle everything life throws at you.

What if…

  • You can train your mind to be positive
  • You can be successful in professional and personal life
  • You do not have to make compromises for others

Instead of leading a life of ‘what ifs’, you should make healthy choices and learn to let go. It all comes down to learning how to become a hero and FLY-First Love Yourself, before others. Once you start trusting your instincts, nothing can stop you from succeeding in life.

How do I know that?

It is because I was in a similar position.

How Did It Begin?

I went through a string of bad choices and wrong relationships before I begin to love myself. It is because I doubted my conscience and didn’t trust God even if I could see the red flags flapping in front of my face. Those relationships were doomed from the start.

Yet, I was adamant about making it work by focusing on things I loved about them. I shrunk back into my fears and thought that I could change the men to have morals and values, fix them, and transform them into a version that I could accept. I believed in them. I loved the potential they showed time and time again. They also showed their inability, unwillingness, and refusal to change on behalf of our relationship. I thought I mattered to them far more than I did. Substance abuse multiplies fear, anger, and negative insecurities. In fact, everyone needs to love themselves first to have a change of heart, change of behaviors and positive outcomes like others do. My intentions and motives were pure. I cared too much. I thought my love had the power to change people and do things I willed.

The years of serial dating (and marriage) blew up in my face. They ended in tears, frustration, hate, and misery. We all face these wake-up calls, but many of us do not answer them.

Luckily, I did!

I mustered up the courage to transform myself. It was not easy to become a lady of God who is full of joy and self-worth when I had spent years in confusion. You have got to realize in these moments of struggle that God is always there to take over. You simply need to hand over the wheel (like that Carrie Underwood song ‘Jesus Take the Wheel’).

You need to let go of the fear and embrace yourself and your faith in God. Let Him heal, restore, and revive you. I recovered from worries, horrible choices, and years of self-destruction because I let Him lead the way.

Then before I knew it, the world started changing as I did.

When you stop leaning towards instant gratification, you learn how to bow out of bad relationships gracefully. You will not cling onto toxic people until the other shoe drops.

Also, choosing faith over fear makes you kinder, safer, and more confident. You finally know who you are and where you want to go. Some things will not be easy. Yet, with God’s grace, you will surf through the waves of adversity and hardships without losing yourself.

4 Steps to Believe in Yourself

As a life coach, I try to teach you what I know best. It is to live your life freely, faithfully, and compassionately. This formula worked for me, and it will work for you too. Being accountable for your thoughts, words and actions makes you congruent which empowers you to trust yourself, feel content and live in acceptance of all outcomes.

Here is the plan:


Think of a happier and better life, whether it is at home or work. Immerse yourself in that vision to understand how it looks and feels more joyful and less fearful. Then do all you can to make that dream your reality.

Fake It Until You Make It

Act as if you are already living the best life and maintain your focus. The tunnel vision will ensure that there are no distractions or moments where you second-guess your goals.

Have Faith

Break this vicious cycle by gaining self-awareness. If you are having doubts, then use your instincts to navigate away from possible heartaches. You can make the right decisions if you believe in yourself.

Be Forgiving

Move on by forgiving yourself and others for prior mistakes. Being merciful will set you free and allow you to fill the void with love, compassion, and confidence. It, however, does not mean that you can sin without care or repeat the same mistakes.

It’s a Wrap

In the end, trust God and believe in yourself. Throughout this journey of self-love, you stay motivated to love yourself and make healthy choices in relationships. You can do this via visualization, faith, and forgiveness. If you have any trouble, then allow me to show you the way.

Always remember that we can soar towards greatness when we spread our wings and FLY-First Love Yourself.

Share This

Share This

Share this post with your friends!

Share This

Share this post with your friends!